35 weeks pregnant with Aedyn Levi in the picture above. :]At 36 weeks I went to my weekly doctors appointment with Dr. Patel and she asked if I wanted to be induced, I pretty much immediately said "no" because I hadn't really considered that option yet.
Ofcourse I would rather have him myself on my time... When Jake got home that night I was telling him about it and he seemed to think it was a good idea.
So I had the whole week to think about it and I decided I wanted to be induced, but I rememebered from being pregnant with Rylee that she told me she wouldn't induce before 40 weeks. Which isn't too good, becuase this is my second baby and I feel like he would come before then.
& I am a serious "worrier", and I have been stressing so much over just the thought of going into labor while Jake is at work and having to try to get in touch with him (which is really hard to do with cell reception where he works). And then him having to rush home to get me and take me to the hospital,when he works like an hour and a half away!
On top of that, I would be in labor while having to try to get Rylee all ready to get to her nana's house.
And also, I have been thinking of how cool it would be for all of us to have this pattern with our birthdays.
My birthday is 1/1 and Rylee's is 5/5, so I thought it would be cool if Aedyn's could be 2/2. But that is only 39 weeks and 1 day.
Jake found out from work that he can take off a week for me having the baby, so we had to take that into consideration, and the 2nd is a Tuesday, so he could have Tuesday-Friday off and then a free weekend off. So this idea was sounding better and better to me. All the while assuming Dr. Patel would refuse to induce me early.
ANOTHER issue of the week, circumcision. The whole time I knew we were having a boy, I assumed I didn't want to have it done.I just don't see the point in it really. I feel like he is born how he is supposed to be. And its just un-necessary pain for him to go through. Jake and I haven't talked alot about it. The conversations about it went about as far as -ME "Aedyn's not getting circumcised." JAKE- "yes he is" ME-"no, he's not, you will see." But I really thought he wasn't serious. I didn't think he cared as much as he does. Finally he started to tell me how seriously he cares that he is circumcised. His main reason being that he doesn't want him to get made fun of one day. Which I think is pretty dumb. I never thought of this to be an issue? I have never known of anyone to be made fun of for this? But apparently.? So after seeing how strongly he felt about it, and me not really feeling that strongly about him NOT being circumcised, I decided to give in with the condition of only if it is numbed! I definately wouldn't be ok with it if he has to feel it all, that is just cruel, I don't care if it does just take 10 seconds. I wouldn't let someone cut me for 10 seconds without me being numb!
This whole week me and Rylee were sick and just layed around together, I began to notice that Aedyn wasn't moving too much throughout the week.
I know that it is normal for the baby to run out of room and not be as active, but I thought it was weird that it happened the same week I was sick, so maybe the baby is sick too? I don't know , but it makes me feel kinda bad :/
Well, going into my 37 WEEK appointment, I had a few questions.
She didn't seem worried about the baby not moving as much, she just asked me if the baby is moving 5 times in 5 hours. And he definately is. So she didn't worry about it.
I asked her about the circumcision and she said whichever OB/GYN working in the hospital the day I am released from the hospital would be doing the procedure. And she said that none of her partners numb the baby! ahhh. I told her that is a must for me, and she pretty much said that if there is nobody at the hospital to do it numbed, then I would have to wait for someone on the "surgical team" I think she said. So I think I am going to call Aedyn's pediatrician (Dr. Wiley) to see if he does circumcisions and make sure that he uses numbing medicine. I really couldn't believe that it is so common to just do it with nothing. I think Jake agrees with me on this situation. I know he doesn't want the baby to feel pain if he doesn't... So this is still in the process! I really don't want to wait and look around for someone to do it until after hes born, I want it done as soon as possible so hes less aware.
About being induced--- Right away I asked her about it and I said " I was wondering if you would induce at 39 wks and 1 day." And right away, she said yes. So I don't know if it is because this is my second baby or if she has changed the way she does things now? or what. But I was worried for nothing. I told her my reasons why and she said thats fine. She even made a better suggestion, she said I could come in the evening of February 1st to start getting induced and then have him on the 2nd :] It couldn't be working out better! I still don't know the time I go in yet, she said she would set it up and tell me on my next appointment when to come in. So it all seems very very real now, that it is almost time to have a baby!!!
We have been trying really hard to get out of our apartment before the baby comes, and into the nice townhouse we have been looking at for about a month. Everything has been in a process, and we told the manager we wanted to be moved in before the 1st and she said we will be able to. Now we just have to hear that we are officially approved. So it is going to be crazy moving in and then a couple days later having a baby! It will be so hectic having a newborn in a messy house that nothing is in it's place yet. MY LIFE IS SO CRAZY :]
You should put your son's right to an unmutilated organ first. See http://www.circumcision.org/studies.htm and http://www.circumstitions.com/ and Google the subject before you give in and allow it. Please.
ReplyDeleteI think you should do some research about circumcision before you make a decision. The process will remove the most sensitive parts of your son's body, and it's not something to be taken lightly.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I *love* your kids' names!
ReplyDeleteI wanted to give you a couple of things to think about with induction and circumcision.
On induction, do a Google search and you will find that there are definite risks with induction. The biggest is that it often leads to more and more interventions, ending with cesarean sections. I blogged a little on induction here: http://bit.ly/8RvST5 (there are several posts in that series on unnecessary medical interventions in labor/childbirth).
A few interesting facts:
Babies continue critical lung and brain development through week 41.
Due date calculations are imprecise, so you might think you are 39 weeks 1 day, when actually you are 37 weeks 3 days (for example).
Our bodies are marvelously designed to labor spontaneously, and there is evidence that babies actually release a chemical when they are ready for childbirth - barring medical necessity, isn't it best for nature to take its course?
On circumcision, I wrote about our decision to keep our son intact here: http://bit.ly/7HreID
A few facts that might help sway your husband:
*Circumcision was originally advocated as a method of preventing masturbation. Why in the world would you or your husband need to prevent that?
*The intact foreskin actually acts as a barrier to help protect your son (someday!) from STD's and infection.
*A circumcised penis is actually less clean than an intact penis. Additionally, intact penises require no special care.
*Circ rates in the US continue to fall, so the likelihood that your son will look like the boy sitting next to him in class is just as high as him looking like his circ'd father. "I want him to fit in" is not a valid argument to cut part of a sexual organ off. Circumcision removes nerve endings. It takes away sexual feeling.
Your son will THANK you someday for protecting his penis. I urge you to protect him, and I welcome any questions you might have. Please email or comment on my site if you need clarification or more information. I'd also encourage you and your husband to look at some of the pictures and videos of intact v. circ'd penises - they make it clear what a tragedy circumcision really is.
Congratulations on your beautiful, perfect, whole son!
Dionna @ Code Name: Mama
http://codenamemama.com
Currently, about 50% of newborn boys leave the hospital intact, that is, they are not circumcised. So, your son will be just as likely to be teased for being circumcised. But, really, schools no longer have communal showers for kids.
ReplyDeleteThe Internet is a great educational tool and many young men are learning what happened to them when they were circumcised. Many question why their parents choose to circumcise them when there was so little reason to do so. Many of these men wish they had their full sex organ.
Stand firm. Protect your son because he is born normal. To circumcise him is to remove part of his birthright. I was circumcised at birth and wish my parents had left me with my normal penis. Instead, they had part of it cut off and I am now restoring it.
Your son will not thank you for protecting his penis when his feels like the odd ball in the locker room. He won't thank you when the girl he's had a crush on is disgusted.
ReplyDeleteWe, as mothers, can do all we want to educate our kids about their bodies and we can try our best to give them stong senses of self. But there's very little that can combat peer pressure and peer opinions. Just look at all the teenage girls from "good families" who are starving themselves. All the positive reinforcement at home can't combat the magazine ads. While there aren't ads about penises, you get where I'm going.
If you can't guess by now, I had my son circumcised. I've thought about every decision for my son, I researched them, and then made informed decisions.
I decided to breastfeed my son.
I decided against a crib; we co-sleep.
I use a Moby wrap - it's soo cool!
So why did I circumcise him?
I think there's something to be said for a son's desire to look like his father in the shower.
I didn't want to be on penis patrol for the next decade.
Please discuss this with your husband and make the decision with him. The last thing you need is tension over this decision during the chaotic newborn days.
Good luck!!!!
Please excuse the grammar mistakes and horrid spelling...typing with a 4 month old in your lap can be hazzarous to your health :)
ReplyDeleteAny good mother would think if her son had a crush on a girl who was "disgusted" he hadn't been multilated, the girl was too shallow and hypocritical to be worth her son's time and affection. Your "penis patrol" remark is extremely selfish and obnoxious. By that logic you should pull out his teeth too and save yourself the trouble of making sure he brushes them.
ReplyDeleteIt is great you are doing research & want to make sure Aedyn gets the best healthcare possible.
ReplyDeleteCircumcision is a safe, popular, healthy & beneficial procedure for individuals & parents to choose. It provides benefits such as 12x less likely for UTI, +22x less likely for cancer, 28% less risk for herpes, 35% for HPV & 60% for HIV/AIDS. The risks are about 0.2% and are typically minor & easily corrected.
More information can be found at the following sites:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Circumcision
http://www.malecircumcision.org/
http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/resources/factsheets/circumcision.htm
http://archpedi.ama-assn.org/cgi/content/full/164/1/104
http://www.circinfo.net
http://www.medicirc.org
I'm sorry, but I cannot agree with a parent who would choose to mutilate a child's genitals for cosmetic reasons.
ReplyDelete"Your son will not thank you for protecting his penis when his feels like the odd ball in the locker room. He won't thank you when the girl he's had a crush on is disgusted."
So you will encourage your teenager to dress, groom, cut his hair, listen to music, watch the same shows, drive the same car, etc., etc. exactly like his peers?
If his peer group all jumped off a bridge, would you drive him to the edge and wave good-bye?
I hope my son values himself more for having an intact, uncut penis, than for what someone might think about his foreskin. I hope my son has enough self-esteem that he won't crumble when children make fun of him for the way he dresses, or the way he looks, etc.
As parents, we should be above the locker room argument. We've all experienced teasing. And like a previous poster said, circumcision is on the decline - so your son is just as likely to be "made fun of" for having a sliced penis as an intact one.
If your child had a disease, the life-saving treatment of which would cause them some sort of cosmetic unpleasantness, would you say "oh, it's ok, I know the kids will make fun of you for _____, we won't do the treatment"? (not the best analogy, but it's all I have right now)
The bottom line should not be cosmetic. It should be the health and well-being of your child.
~Dionna @ Code Name: Mama
I left out a major point in my first post - AVOID the induction. From my experience, it's not worth it. While I think the birthday thing is cute and cool, based on my induction (I was a week late and he was getting rather large) I wouldn't suggest going down that path.
ReplyDelete***
I find it pathetic that you edwardy must resort to name calling. And by name calling I mean "any good mother, "selfish," and "obnoxious."
I find it refreshing that Dionna can express her opinion without name calling. Do I agree with much that you said? No, but I appreciate your maturity.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteCalling your position selfish and obnoxious is not name calling, it's called using words that accurately describe your position. Putting your convience ahead of your son's interests, as you "penis patrol" remark implies is selfish. It is also very unpleasant, which is what "obnoxious" means. If you don't want to be so described, base your argument on something other than advocacy of shallow thinking and your own benefit...
ReplyDeleteI find female advocates of male genital mutilation as disgusting as you would probably find male advocates of female genital mutilation in Africa. Do you think "her boyfriend might not like it" or that he didn't want to have to make sure she kept herself clean would impress you as valid arguments? If you say yes, you're a liar, and if you say no you're a hypocrite. The time for this barbaric practice has come and I will not apologize for my lack of tolerance for its advocacy. Deal with it.
ReplyDeletes/has/to end has/
ReplyDeleteI hope you will reconsider and stand strongly behind your instinct to protect your son from this unnecessary surgery.
ReplyDeleteIf you do not, understand that "numbing medicines" are not all equal. In most cases it consists of a topically applied cream. This is not very effective. Much more effective is injecting lidocaine into several spots on the penis, as depicted here:
Doula Patti Ramos Photoseries
As you can see, the anesthesia does not mean the child has an experience anyone would want to go thought unless absolutely necessary.
Jake's stance is very normal for a circumcised man. To some degree, he may feel this is a referendum on the status of his own sex organ. If it's good enough for him, why not for Aedyn? I hope he has the fortitude to set such feelings aside and look at all the facts. The fact is that Aedyn does not need this surgery. That much, physicians worldwide agree on:
http://www.circinfo.org/doctors.html
The "he'll be teased in the locker room" argument is not legitimate. It's probably not even true, and clearly isn't worth surgery.
You're instincts on this are to valid and important to let go of. Your son is depending on you to protect him from harm. You've got to stand up for what you know is right.
[I deleted and reposted because I messed up the first link]
Thanks, Natasha. I actually thought I came across as too bitchy, but my hackles were kind of raised by the thought of someone calling my son's penis disgusting.
ReplyDeleteIt's such a touchy subject, and it saddens me that the US is one of the last holdouts on circ. I do agree w/edward's point that it is comparable to FGM - we are repulsed by the idea of someone clipping off our daughter's clitoral hood, but that is the same thing as clipping a boy's foreskin!
Just because it's culturally appropriate does not make it right. It's the same argument as nursing in public - people might be uncomfortable seeing me nurse my child, but if breastfeeding mothers were all to hide away, then it would never be normalized.
There are many things that were once popular/culturally sanctioned/legal (i.e., discrimination based on race, sex, national origin, etc.; spousal abuse; slavery), but that does not make them right. Societies change. It is up to us to be the force behind that change. Hence my position that the locker room argument is never valid.
~Dionna @ Code Name: Mama
http://codenamemama.com